ugh accidentally had an existential crisis yesterday for 12 hours bc do I take out massive loans and get a masters degree and be done in 2 years but not have a guaranteed job/career or do I just go for it and dedicate 7 years of my life to a phd that i won’t have to pay for but still have no guarantee of a job afterwards ???????????
and i personally don’t believe there’s even any purpose to life at ALL so I’m sort of like ok I mean I could do some mindless bullshit bc i’m like “life is fundamentally meaningless and I’m going to die and nothing will happen after” but I’m also like “life is fundamentally meaningless so I could do something that produces a good feeling inside of me and maintains the illusion that there is such a thing as ‘good’ work”
the volume of snot my body produces when i cry is truly incredible
i love how “lmao” has evolved over the years from a genuine expression of mirth to the modern symbol of wet, unemphatic amusement; the mere ghost of an emotion, reflecting the journey of modern youth from innocent naievete to hardened apathy. ayyy lmao